A dad’s journey through Te Huringa ō Te Ao

The following story is shared anonymously to protect the mana and privacy of the tāne involved. His words reflect his own lived experience in Te Huringa ō Te Ao, a journey of brotherhood, growth, and stepping up as a father.

When he first walked into Te Huringa ō Te Ao, he wasn’t quite sure what to expect. A mate had invited him along, so that made it easier.

“Troy [facilitator of the programme] is a friend, so I was ok there,” he says. “But I was unsure what to expect.”

At first, he listened. During a kōrero about stress in relationships, the other tāne began speaking openly about their daily struggles. That honesty shifted something in him.

“It made me feel like look at things different, be more humble and grateful. Seeing the boys be honest made me want to be straight up too.”

Hearing another dad talk about co-parenting especially hit home. “I listened to you uce … cause I was a little lost but you sharing your story helped heaps.”

In that space, vulnerability wasn’t weakness. It was strength. The more the group opened up, the safer it felt to do the same.

Over time, those conversations began to shape how he saw himself, both as a man and as a father.

“Coming to group has made me want to try be a better Dad and be around my fams more,” he says.

Some of the dads now link up on weekends with their kids. Time that might once have been spent elsewhere is now spent together.

“Doing that like actual helps me, stop the silly stuff and have quality time with my son.”

He’s realised he’s not alone.

“We all have similar struggles with things in life. We all are trying our best to change,” he says.

Having a place to show up each week keeps him grounded, especially during the weeks he doesn’t have his boy. It gives him motivation to stay focused and make better choices.

Boxing is part of the programme, but as he puts it, it’s more than just training. Through boxing, his confidence has grown.

“Before I was shame as. But the group all uplift and encourage each other.”

The physical training helps clear his head too.

“Calms me down heaps, cause I waste all my energy here. I just leave more happy.”

After a tough session, the vibe is positive and the stress feels lighter. At home, things are changing, too.

“My co-parenting situation is a lot better, less arguments and more focused on our son.”

Having the group to talk things through (and even just to “have moan”) makes a difference.

Looking ahead, what feels most possible now is simple and powerful.

“Just being there for my son,” he says.

Seeing other dads step up inspires him to do the same, to create moments, to show up, to do great things for his boy.

Te Huringa ō Te Ao may begin with boxing, but for this tāne, it has become a space of growth, accountability and brotherhood.