Te Huringa ō Te Ao is providing a space to help men rewrite their story

Troy Wairau-Laga facilitates one of the Whānau Centre’s newest programmes: Te Huringa ō Te Ao – Supporting Men's Behaviour Change

The Whānau Centre’s newest programme is creating a safe space for men to reconnect, reflect, and rebuild with boxing gloves on and hearts open.

When Troy Wairau-Laga started working with tāne through the Porirua Whānau Centre’s non-violence programme, he noticed something missing.

“There was a gap once that programme finished. Some of the men really got into it, they wanted to keep going. But then it just stopped. That momentum, that connection, it was lost.”

Now, through Te Huringa ō Te Ao – Supporting Men's Behaviour Change, Troy is helping fill that gap.

The new programme supports men aged 18 and over who want to keep building on what they’ve learned (whether through the Whānau Centre or elsewhere), and continue their journey toward becoming more open, honest and connected to themselves and their whānau.

“It takes a long time to change behaviours that have been around for years,” Troy says.

“We wanted to create a space where that long-term change could happen, where men could feel safe enough to be vulnerable.”

That space is built on whakawhanaungatanga, connection. It’s about showing up, not just physically, but emotionally.

Twice a week, the group meets at the Whānau Centre to reconnect, talk, and take part in an unconventional but effective form of healing: boxing.

“Boxing’s just the vehicle.

“It’s not about fitness but providing a positive outlet. About trust, confidence, laughter. You can see it in their faces. Some of the tāne come in carrying a heavy load. After 20 minutes of hitting the pads and having a laugh, they’re different.”

The choice of boxing wasn’t random.

“To be honest, it’s something I enjoy,” Troy admits. “I gravitated toward it. I wanted to share it with the guys and see how they’d respond, and they love it. There’s no set fitness level, no pressure. Just come as you are.”

That sense of low-pressure accessibility is key.

The programme is rolling, with no end date and no attendance expectations. Men come when they’re ready.

“We’re trying to create a space they seek out — not something they’re told they have to attend.”

From two men in its first session, Te Huringa ō Te Ao now averages 8-10 participants per group. Its growth has already prompted talk of expanding to new locations.

“I’m talking with a mate who runs a gym in Upper Hutt,” says Troy. “There’s a need out there too.”

For Troy, this mahi is deeply personal. He previously worked with tamariki in Oranga Tamariki but found himself drawn to helping men make meaningful changes.

 I speak from lived experience,” he says. “There were things I wish I’d known earlier, tools I wish I’d had. Now I try to pass them on.”

That honesty creates trust, and reminds the men in the room they’re not alone.

“There’s a stigma around men not talking. I’ve experienced it myself. You open up, and then get mocked, so you shut down. You bottle things up, and eventually it spills out in a way that hurts you or others.”

Te Huringa ō Te Ao is about changing that. It’s about giving men a chance to rewrite their story, not just for themselves, but for their whānau.

“Our goal is to give men tools they can take home. So, they can create better environments for their families. So, their partners and tamariki see that it’s okay to speak up, to express yourself, to be honest.”

As Troy puts it, “There is a light at the end of the tunnel, even when it feels dark. Sometimes you just need a space, and someone, to help you see it.”